…once or twice in my adulthood: full awareness in a small, private moment, that my heart, once thought full, has gained capacity. It feels most like those last few seconds before welling tears become a real cry, but this is not the feeling of catharsis (as a good cry should be), not the feeling of letting something go. It is literally the sensation that your heart has become enlarged, has taken on the blessing (never a burden) of heavier weight, of greater responsibility, of space where there had previously been none, of matter - once thought to be neither created nor destroyed - now existing, now expanding, now rushing fast in what is literally a cage, but defying that cage, bursting past it, becoming more, more, when you had long since grown comfortable with whatever you had. What you had, of course, was plenty, was fine. But what you have now, in this moment and ever after until it happens again, is even better.
